337. the preface is the post
So if you’ve read my blog for any amount of time, you know that I often begin my posts with a preface – an explanation of why I’m writing about a particular thing or to explain why it’s taken me so long to put something up. Well, this is a case of the latter. I want to say why it’s taken me so long to write anything for this blog and then go back to not writing anything for the blog…at least for now.
Way back in March (OMG), I mentioned that I had gotten into Mars Hill Graduate School. Before I got in, I’d visited the school and talked to people who were going or had graduated from there. There was one thing that they all said to me about the school. “Be prepared to do a lot of internal work.” And basically what they meant was that not only was MHGS rigorous academically and intellectually, it was also rigorous in the way that it works on the students themselves – who they are, how they’re put together, how they relate to one another (both within the school and without).
I didn’t think that would be a big deal for me. I mean, I’ve always been curious about myself and I’ve always been pretty open about what I was thinking about or what I was going through and so I figured it’d be easy for me to open up and work on/out whatever internal work the school asked of me.
And then I started.
And then I realized that they were asking me to access and think and talk about a part of me that I didn’t even know was there. I thought I knew who I was. And while on one level, I did know, I found that there’s a whole other level to the question, “who am I?” that I had never delved into. And that’s where they asked me to go.
So I’ve been working on a lot of stuff and for reasons I hope to be able to explain soon, I’m just not ready to write about them right now…mostly because I’m still in the middle of it and can’t make sense of it all for myself, let alone for my readers.
I can say that a lot of it has been really difficult. I can also say that some of it has been really good. And I realize that’s terribly vague, but again, I just can’t really put it into words yet.
I guess I just want to say that I’m well aware that I haven’t been writing and I’m sorry. There are a lot of really good posts that I want to get to soon so please, bear with me. And pray for me, please. If you want to know what to pray for, just pray that God would be there for me.